i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
birth control should be required to get into college
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I am one with the molecules
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
