So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Randomize
