Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
