hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
