Grow some girl-balls and come out already
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
Randomize
