that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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