Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
