I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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