she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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