At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
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