Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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