In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
