hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
