and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
