you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
