you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
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