That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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