I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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