i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
