I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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