what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
