if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I tried to prevent a bar fight. By convincing a guy whacked out on Molly to slap the ass of everyone who was arguing and shout "WOO" each time. I'm proud, surprised, and intrigued that it calmed everyone down so quickly...
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
