They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
