I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
i need some magic done to my vagina
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize