There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
In America we eat man semen.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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