your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
