Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i'm too drunk to leave my room. poked my head out like a turtle and everyone knew i wasn't sober. i like it better in my nonjudgmental turtle shell anyway.
I shit myself. Legit. And I burnt my tongue. Unrelated incidents, but related in the sense of general discomfort.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
