he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
