I'm drive I can fine osifer
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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