too bad you live with your parents still
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
At least life still wants to fuck me.
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
I think he was trying to be romantic, but the candle he had lit was the kind you use to repel mosquitoes..
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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