I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
I woke up with broken tostitos all over my bed and a snap chat of myself flipping off the camera.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
