You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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