i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
