Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize