he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
WHY THE FUCK IS MY BATH TUB FILLED WITH MUD?!
1. You were drunk 2. You wanted a mud bath\n3. We tried to talk you out of it, but you kept throwing dirt at us
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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