margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Slut skills are useful in every country.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
