Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
I will pee on everything he values.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
