And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
