I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize
