Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
