Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
