his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Randomize
