he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
