The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
