The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
