Me too!
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
We were destined to go to rehab together
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
