i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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