More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
Randomize
