I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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