I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
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