your room smells of hookers.
And success
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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